It has been awhile since I have written but I have something on my mind that I am struggling with. David continues to have major difficulties with eating new foods. He was in feeding therapy for a few years and then we hit a wall. Nothing was motivating him. He started not responding to therapy and it was time to take a rest. That was about a year or so ago. We have tried and tried to get him to add new foods on our own to no avail. He has never had more than one morsel of meat that he tried once, he's never had a sandwich, he's never had a fruit, he's never had anything other than a specific chicken noodles, green beans, strawberry yogurt, apple sauce, animal crackers, gold fish and nilla wafers. People mean well when they keep asking me whether he will eat this or that. It is hard when people who also mean well give me advice on what to try....I am speaking specifically to those who are not in the battle and not in a professional position. Yet at the same time this journey requires and has taught me to show grace in those moments.
I'm just being real people. I have been struggling so much inside and battling guilt that I know shouldn't be there. Did I do enough? Am I doing enough? What could I have done more? Yet at the same time I have been sooo exhausted for the battle. To be extremely honest I am so afraid to go down this road again. I don't want to. I don't know if I have the energy to go through the temper tantrums and crying and screaming. It would be so much easier to not go down this road. But my child's future success is far more valuable than any moment of tears and frustration and sadness from his Mama. Now that he is older it is going to be harder in different ways. He is definitely stubborn and has a mind of his own. :) My prayer is for a major breakthrough. I need a major breakthrough.
My biggest fear is the effect it will have on him when he starts going to kindergarten and through elementary school. I don't want him to be bullied because of it. Kids can be so cruel and that part scares me. Whenever he is at birthday parties he never wants to eat anything given. He doesn't like cake. He doesn't like candy. He doesn't like anything else that is normally served at a kids birthday party. Now, the positive in all this is that David doesn't like anything sweet besides plain strawberry ice cream. At least we don't have that battle. lol I know most parents wish they were in that same situation. lol I would give anything to have that battle. I would give anything to see him eat a piece of chocolate cake or candy. I would give anything to see the boy eat a sandwich or meat or another vegetable for that matter.
I think my theme verse for the battle is going to be:
Galatians 6:9
"Do not grow weary in well doing for in due season you will reap a harvest if you faint not."
As well as:
Isaiah 26:3
"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You be cause he trusts in You."
So, with every moment, every day, every mealtime, every food and through every tear, temper tantrum and frustration I will lean on the Lord for strength and cling to His promises. He has always been and will forever be faithful to keep them.
When the Lord puts us on your mind I would love it if you would pray for us. Thank you very much!
