From Spinal Meningitis to Mommyhood!

                      Shortly after I was born I became extremely ill with Spinal Meningitis. I had a collapsed lung and almost died. The doctors did not give much hope to my parents and said that if I did live I would not be able to function normally. It was their opinion that it would have been better if I didn’t survive. The Meningitis caused swelling of my brain that caused a cist to form on my brain. This was something that I was always going to have....it was inoperable. I was always slow in reaching the developmental stages. According to my mother I didn’t sit up until I was about a year old. I didn’t talk until almost 4 years old and walked I believe closer to 2 years old. My mother also recently told me that I had extreme eating issues.....I didn’t eat normally until I was almost 3-4 years old. Things came always as a challenge to me. I was also considered a pretty spacy child. My mother said that this started as early as infancy. I was always told I wasn’t paying any attention....I was in my own little world a lot. I remember my stepmom would snap her fingers at me and that would get me out of my "trance". The "trance" moments became more frequent when I was in junior high. It became so bad that I could not carry on a conversation with out spacing out. I would get severe headaches in the middle of the school day and then an hour later I would be spaced out throughout the rest of the day. Finally, when I was in 8th grade I was working at an after school day care center and in the middle of the playground I had my first Gran-Mal Seizure. That is when they discovered that I had epilepsy. I was 15 years old.
                     Epilepsy brought more challenges to my life growing up. School was difficult and people sometimes didn’t have patience for a child who looked like they were just not paying attention when in fact she was having a peti-mal seizure. Honestly, though, I never really thought about it much except for the few embarrassing moments of people not being very kind. As far as college there were many people that thought graduating from high school was enough for me and that I shouldn’t go to college because I probably wouldn’t be successful. I never drove because I had my first seizure when I was 15 years old and continued to have them so getting my drivers license was not an option. That was really never anything that bothered me though. When I was diagnosed I remember clearly being in my neurologist’s office talking about the diagnosis of Epilepsy and what that meant. When he explained it all to me he also said that he highly recommended me not have children and that if I did have a child it could either hurt me or the baby. It would not be wise at all. I was pretty much discouraged from having a child ever. At that time of course, that was not a huge concern. I was only 15 years old. But, from that day on I just believed that I would probably never have a child. His words would continue to pour fear into having a kid. As I look back on this I see epilepsy as a blessing in my life. It is something that will keep me on medication for the rest of my life and there is always a chance each day I could have a seizure. But the biggest blessing is how the Lord has used it to keep me close to Him and how He has used it as a testimony of His grace in my life. I have always been on medication in the past 25 or so years and will always be.
                         When I became pregnant with David I was on the worst medication that you can be on if you are pregnant. It was the most dangerous meds for the baby. So when I found out I was pregnant it was very scary. The doctors immediately took me off of that medication and I had to go cold turkey and for the first time go completely off of medication. I was terrified. I remember thinking, "How could you expect me to just hope that I don’t have a seizure for the entire pregnancy Doc?!" The thought of having a seizure and losing the baby was so scary. But the Lord was faithful and protected David and me for the entire pregnancy. I was however, put on very good medication that was perfectly fine for David a few weeks into the pregnancy. Even though it was a slow transition and there were many doctors visits and blood work the Lord protected us both. To me being pregnant with David was one of the most precious times in my life when it came to my relationship with the Lord. I learned how to hear His voice. Whenever there was a moment of fear the Lord would immediately tell me that the baby would be just fine. He was always faithful to do that.
                      As I look back and think on all those that never thought that I would go to college, get married, complete my Masters of Education and finally do what I was told should never happen....have a child.... I just think WOW!!!! Look at all the Lord has done!!! SEE!!! My God is greater!!! Look how He has done exceedingly and abundantly above all that anyone could ask or think or imagine would happen with my life!!! He has been faithful! I pray that my life will always be a testimony of His faithfulness and love! I pray the same for David. As I continue to share I believe you will see how the Lord has already started to show His love through David's life..........