I Thought It Was So Cute Until......

                                           I thought it was so cute how David just flapped his arms over and over when he became excited. I thought it was so great that I never really had to worry that David was going to put something in his mouth because he never did. I thought it was so great that David never wanted his pacifier or wanted anything in his mouth except the bottle. That is what I thought until I realized this isn’t normal. I started seeing new things (or not seeing things) when David was around five months old. He was not mimicking me at all. He didn’t want to participate in games and songs. He thought it was so funny and would giggle and laugh but I could tell he had absolutely no clue that he was supposed to mimic back. When I would try to show him how to do patty cake or songs with hand motions he would just get soooo frustrated. He never let me show him how to clap his hands......he still doesn’t like it to this day.
                                       There have been a few times here and there when David has called me "mama". I cannot say for sure that is exactly what he was trying to say. That was for about a few weeks here and there. He does not speak any words for the most part. If he has they have been "no" or "dada" and sometimes "mama". But mostly it is just the sound "dada" or "dddddddd". He grunts to get attention and throws toys or hits when he gets mad. Thankfully I have been told that the tantrums have not happened yet at his sitters. Time out has helped with the hitting. He is starting to show signs of trying to tell us what he wants. He will bring a book or his ball. If I were to point to something and ask him to bring it to me he doesn’t look at it and will not bring it to me. We have been using sign language and ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) therapy to teach him to communicate. This has been a challenge.
                                  The other area that has been the biggest challenge and what confirmed my fears is his eating issues. When we started feeding David solids he started out ok when we slowly transitioned him with cereal in the morning. Then we moved to fruits and then veggies. He began to gag. When the textures changed he would gag and just cry and cry. At one point as soon as he was in his high chair he would just cry and cry and then all he would do is scream. It was so hard! It was so frustrating. I tried so many things. I thought at first the screaming was due to him being impatient so I would try to have his food ready and would feed him as soon as he got in his high chair. Then he continued to gag. I noticed that sometimes as soon as his food had any type of change the gagging was worse. He would gag and he would flap his hands and stiffen up. There were times that even the sight of food would make him have a fit. He would scream and stiffen up. I was so sad, frustrated, exhausted and started to dread mealtime. I had to brace myself for each meal. That made my heart break and I would just cry. I was at a loss and didn’t know how to help my boy. I wanted to enjoy this time with my son. I wanted him to enjoy it as well. But, unfortunately they were the hardest most unenjoyable times of the day.
                                             I also noticed that David didn’t know how to play with age appropriate toys. He would hold them and look at them but wouldn’t play. For instance, he would take a car and just try to chew on it but wouldn’t play with it. He doesn’t play with blocks. He does not stack things up on top of other things. He just knocks them down. When he is shown how to stack things he gets really mad and has a throw on the ground tantrum. When we try to show that we don’t throw our toys he gets frustrated. We repeat this over and over again. The other day when I was working with him on his blocks he had a tantrum and just threw himself on me and squeezed me and would not let go. It was like he needed me to just calm his sensory overload. He seemed to calm down once he had a few moments to take a break. This is our daily life.
                                       David has always had pretty good eye contact and if you were to see pics of him he is always smiling. He has the best laugh in the world but pics don’t tell the story. When I have shared with people that David was diagnosed with Autism many say, "but he doesn’t look Autistic", "but he is such a happy boy", "he is so smart". The thing about Autism is that there really isn’t a face for it. Also, people who have Autism are some of the most intelligent people in the world.  Every person who has Autism is completely different from the other in their degree and in their needs and gifts.....that is why it is called Autism Spectrum Disorder. Each spectrum is different. Even if two people are on the same spectrum both of them are unique. Each person is unique and blessed with unique gifts that the Lord has given each of them. Each one is a blessing to every person that is honored to have them be a part of their life.