Each individual is different....no two people are a like. Each one has different gifts, needs, sensory issues. People who have Autism are actually extremely intelligent and some of the most famous people are on the spectrum. I have read that people such as Mozart, Tim Burton, Susan Boyle, Daryl Hannah as well as Dan Aykroyd have either been suspected of having Autism or they have officially been diagnosed and have chosen to share it publicly in order to raise awareness. The video that I am sharing in this blog is probably one of the best explanations of Autism that I have heard. Please take the time to watch it as I believe it will be helpful in understanding exactly what Autism is, how people who have it see the world and how they view it and how all of us can learn to communicate and include them in our daily lives. Please also share this with your teens as they can learn to be a blessing to those friends that they may have in school that are on the spectrum. This can be educational to them on how to befriend and understand other students on the spectrum. We all can learn so many things from these beautifully gifted individuals. Enjoy! :)
Sunday, March 30, 2014
What is Autism?
I have realized this week that I have just written about our journey with Autism but haven't really discussed exactly what Autism is. The Autism Speaks Website defines Autism as : "Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and autism are both general terms for a group of complex disorders of brain development. These disorders are characterized, in varying degrees, by difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication and repetitive behaviors. Autism statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) identify around 1 in 68 American children as on the autism spectrum–a ten-fold increase in prevalence in 40 years. Careful research shows that this increase is only partly explained by improved diagnosis and awareness. Studies also show that autism is four to five times more common among boys than girls. An estimated 1 out of 42 boys and 1 in 189 girls are diagnosed with autism in the United States. Each individual with autism is unique. Many of those on the autism spectrum have exceptional abilities in visual skills, music and academic skills. About 40 percent have average to above average intellectual abilities. Indeed, many persons on the spectrum take deserved pride in their distinctive abilities and “atypical” ways of viewing the world. Others with autism have significant disability and are unable to live independently. About 25 percent of individuals with ASD are nonverbal but can learn to communicate using other means."
Each individual is different....no two people are a like. Each one has different gifts, needs, sensory issues. People who have Autism are actually extremely intelligent and some of the most famous people are on the spectrum. I have read that people such as Mozart, Tim Burton, Susan Boyle, Daryl Hannah as well as Dan Aykroyd have either been suspected of having Autism or they have officially been diagnosed and have chosen to share it publicly in order to raise awareness. The video that I am sharing in this blog is probably one of the best explanations of Autism that I have heard. Please take the time to watch it as I believe it will be helpful in understanding exactly what Autism is, how people who have it see the world and how they view it and how all of us can learn to communicate and include them in our daily lives. Please also share this with your teens as they can learn to be a blessing to those friends that they may have in school that are on the spectrum. This can be educational to them on how to befriend and understand other students on the spectrum. We all can learn so many things from these beautifully gifted individuals. Enjoy! :)
Each individual is different....no two people are a like. Each one has different gifts, needs, sensory issues. People who have Autism are actually extremely intelligent and some of the most famous people are on the spectrum. I have read that people such as Mozart, Tim Burton, Susan Boyle, Daryl Hannah as well as Dan Aykroyd have either been suspected of having Autism or they have officially been diagnosed and have chosen to share it publicly in order to raise awareness. The video that I am sharing in this blog is probably one of the best explanations of Autism that I have heard. Please take the time to watch it as I believe it will be helpful in understanding exactly what Autism is, how people who have it see the world and how they view it and how all of us can learn to communicate and include them in our daily lives. Please also share this with your teens as they can learn to be a blessing to those friends that they may have in school that are on the spectrum. This can be educational to them on how to befriend and understand other students on the spectrum. We all can learn so many things from these beautifully gifted individuals. Enjoy! :)
Friday, March 21, 2014
We can't BUT Jesus Can!!!!
Today was a rough day. But the Lord is my comforter. Today I feel overwhelmed. But the Lord is my strength. Today I was sad. But I find my joy in trusting the Lord. I choose to find joy in the fact that He is my strength, my shield, my sustainer and my ever present help in time of need. The Lord is my peace and I am so grateful that He finds joy in giving me mercy and grace to walk through difficult circumstances. I find myself today having a moment where I feel that I need to be transparent about where I am right now. I have had to remind myself that it is okay to feel overwhelmed. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to grieve for what you thought would be. So many times I try to be strong. I hold it all inside trying to be everything and trying to be what I am unable to be. I am not able to be everything. I am not able to be anything....without Christ. Today I spoke with two of my family members and I am grateful for the things that the Lord showed me through these conversations. I hope that this will encourage you in whatever circumstance that you may be going through with your children. You can even apply these things to a situation in your life that does not involve parenting. I hope that you may be able to take these things and share with others. To me they were very important for me to hear.
1. Keep our minds focused on Jesus. Remind myself of my key verse: "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because He trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3 Make sure to make time to be in the Word.....soak it in so that we can hear His voice.....to be able to get rid of all the chaos around us and just be able to see Jesus. Just be able to feel His presence.
2. Whenever we think we can do it..... we cant! We cannot do anything....Christ can do it! He gives us strength. He gives us wisdom. He gives us grace. He gives us peace. He is our Rock. He is our Portion. He is our Help. He is our Shield. He is our Jehovah Jireh who provides us with all that we need to walk through. When we surrender our weakness to Him He takes that weakness and gives us all that we need. When we say, "Lord I don't know how to do this. I don't have the strength. I depend upon You. I cant Lord! BUT I TRUST that You can" He gives us what we need to be able to do all that we need to do.
3. Whenever we are able to we need to take care of ourselves. Whether that means going for a walk for while or whatever else is relaxing. In our busy lives it is hard to do that. It is hard to remember that if we are not able to make sure that we are healthy physically, emotionally and most important spiritually we wont be able to be the best parents for our kids.
4. When we do have the occasion to get together with a friend allow yourself to choose not to talk about your situation/children. Allow yourself to just be you....not be mom for the night. Talk about the Lord, talk about the good things that are happening in each others lives, rejoice with one another for the things that the Lord is doing. Pray with each other. Just laugh. Smile. Be happy. Allow yourself to just be silly. Just let yourself have a time to just be.
5. Remember that the most important role that you play in your children's lives is: You are their mom. For those with children with special needs....we are not their therapists. Yes we need to work with them one on one and spend time playing and enjoying each moment with them. But, if it seems overwhelming and you think that nothing is connecting and you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel keep the focus on the fact that the only thing that truly matters is time you spend with them as their mom. They are learning that you are the one person who they can always count on to love them unconditionally. You are mom. That is all that they need you to be. You are mom. No one else can do that job but you. When all seems overwhelming and you want to do it all and you feel defeated NOTHING else matters but the fact that you are their mom and that is all that they need.
6. Celebrate the smallest accomplishments. Soak it in! Praise them! Rejoice with them! Be silly over the smallest thing! Laugh. Enjoy those moments. They are precious!
7. Have a sense of humor. Don't take things too seriously. Keep laughter in the journey.
8. Allow yourself to have moments to just let it all go and allow yourself to just be sad. It is OK. Don't try to stuff it all. At the same time don't stay there.....move on.
9. Look for opportunities to allow the Lord to use your situation for His glory in someone else's life. Share what He is doing. Encourage them with what the Lord is showing you. Give them hope.
10. Remember you are loved by the King!!! You are His child. He loves your children just as much as he loves you....actually more than you love them.... and they are just yours to raise. They ultimately belong to Him. He has a huge plan for their lives that far exceeds what you can even imagine. Enjoy the ride! Keep surrendering them to His hands.
God bless you all abundantly more than you can ever ask, think or imagine as you walk the journey the Lord has you on!
Ephesians 3:16-21
1. Keep our minds focused on Jesus. Remind myself of my key verse: "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because He trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3 Make sure to make time to be in the Word.....soak it in so that we can hear His voice.....to be able to get rid of all the chaos around us and just be able to see Jesus. Just be able to feel His presence.
2. Whenever we think we can do it..... we cant! We cannot do anything....Christ can do it! He gives us strength. He gives us wisdom. He gives us grace. He gives us peace. He is our Rock. He is our Portion. He is our Help. He is our Shield. He is our Jehovah Jireh who provides us with all that we need to walk through. When we surrender our weakness to Him He takes that weakness and gives us all that we need. When we say, "Lord I don't know how to do this. I don't have the strength. I depend upon You. I cant Lord! BUT I TRUST that You can" He gives us what we need to be able to do all that we need to do.
3. Whenever we are able to we need to take care of ourselves. Whether that means going for a walk for while or whatever else is relaxing. In our busy lives it is hard to do that. It is hard to remember that if we are not able to make sure that we are healthy physically, emotionally and most important spiritually we wont be able to be the best parents for our kids.
4. When we do have the occasion to get together with a friend allow yourself to choose not to talk about your situation/children. Allow yourself to just be you....not be mom for the night. Talk about the Lord, talk about the good things that are happening in each others lives, rejoice with one another for the things that the Lord is doing. Pray with each other. Just laugh. Smile. Be happy. Allow yourself to just be silly. Just let yourself have a time to just be.
5. Remember that the most important role that you play in your children's lives is: You are their mom. For those with children with special needs....we are not their therapists. Yes we need to work with them one on one and spend time playing and enjoying each moment with them. But, if it seems overwhelming and you think that nothing is connecting and you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel keep the focus on the fact that the only thing that truly matters is time you spend with them as their mom. They are learning that you are the one person who they can always count on to love them unconditionally. You are mom. That is all that they need you to be. You are mom. No one else can do that job but you. When all seems overwhelming and you want to do it all and you feel defeated NOTHING else matters but the fact that you are their mom and that is all that they need.
6. Celebrate the smallest accomplishments. Soak it in! Praise them! Rejoice with them! Be silly over the smallest thing! Laugh. Enjoy those moments. They are precious!
7. Have a sense of humor. Don't take things too seriously. Keep laughter in the journey.
8. Allow yourself to have moments to just let it all go and allow yourself to just be sad. It is OK. Don't try to stuff it all. At the same time don't stay there.....move on.
9. Look for opportunities to allow the Lord to use your situation for His glory in someone else's life. Share what He is doing. Encourage them with what the Lord is showing you. Give them hope.
10. Remember you are loved by the King!!! You are His child. He loves your children just as much as he loves you....actually more than you love them.... and they are just yours to raise. They ultimately belong to Him. He has a huge plan for their lives that far exceeds what you can even imagine. Enjoy the ride! Keep surrendering them to His hands.
God bless you all abundantly more than you can ever ask, think or imagine as you walk the journey the Lord has you on!
Ephesians 3:16-21
Monday, March 17, 2014
Therapists: Precious Gifts Indeed!
It was David’s
nine month checkup. He was not sitting up on his own. Eating issues were not
improving and his pediatrician asked us to bring him back at 10 months so that
she could check on his motor skills and development. So, we returned. At 10
months he finally was sitting up on his own. I was still voicing my concerns
regarding his eating issues but was waiting for his pediatrician to agree that
there was a real issue. Finally, at his one year checkup I asked her if he
could be referred to have early intervention therapy. I had friends who had
mentioned that their children had therapy for their eating issues and they had
made great improvements as a result. I was soooo happy that she agreed! Because
he had other delays the thought of Autism was entertained but not seriously
discussed at that point. So, on July 3, 2013 we took David to be assessed at
Infant Toddler Early Intervention. David was 14 months old.
I was actually excited about the fact that we were going to be able to get therapy for David. Although I was excited, I also was so nervous that my gut feelings were right. I really didn’t want to be right. He was observed by a Speech Therapist and an Occupational Therapist as well as the Early Intervention Coordinator. As they observed David and asked us questions about his history and our history I could tell there was more to work on than I had realized. Brian and I had told them that he was just diagnosed with Aspergers and I had a nephew that was on the spectrum as well. Brian has always been very open about having Aspergers which was wonderful. He was happy that we were going to finally be able to help David. After they observed David for a good hour they went over their assessment results.
His Occupational Therapist went over her observations and assessed David as being at 6 months for Atypical Feeding, 11 months Cognitive, 11 months gross motor and 11 months fine motor skills. That actually didn’t surprise me or upset me that much because that is where I thought he was in those areas. I wasn’t thrilled at the 6 month range for eating but it didn’t surprise me at all. But when I heard where his Speech Therapist assessed him to be at I got a lump in my throat. He was assessed at being at 6 months in both receptive and expressive language......almost a full year behind. I knew he was delayed but I didn’t realize how delayed he was emotionally and verbally and my heart just sank. I knew that he wasn’t waiving "bye bye" and he was not mimicking me at all. I think I just entered a temporary denial that his speech was delayed as significantly as it was. Whenever the thought had crossed my mind I would just try to put it in the back of my head. There is one thing thinking it on your own and another thing when someone confirms it and you hear the words out loud. I remember sitting there and trying not to cry. It was pretty tough to hear. To some this may not seem like a big deal but to me it was. I wanted my son to waive hi and bye bye. I wanted my son to participate in interactive songs and games with me. I wanted to see my son clap his hands with me with laughter. I wanted my son to blow kisses. I wanted my son to say "mama". I wanted my son to speak....not just with words but through play and interaction with books and playing with toys. At 14 months old he was not doing anything close to it and my heart just hurt.
I remember coming home that afternoon and reading his IFSP (Individualized Family Service Plan) over and over again and having a bitter sweet feeling. I was so thankful to the Lord for answering my prayer in providing therapy for David. I knew that once we would start he would make great improvement. The plan documented all of therapist findings as well as the plan that we put together for the best therapy treatment specifically to fit David and his needs. It also discussed the goals that were set for David to reach improvements by a certain date. It was very specific with challenging but reachable goals for him.
As I sat there I just began to pray for David that the Lord would touch him and help him with each step of improvement that he would need to make. I prayed that He would give Brian and me wisdom to know what we needed to do to help David and to teach him those things that he needed to learn. I prayed for his therapists and for his therapy that we would be unified together as a team in doing all that is best for David. I am happy to say that the Lord has answered that prayer. David has amazing therapists that I will love forever! They have been such a huge blessing to us and have been so wonderful with him. When I have had my moments of feeling discouraged and frustrated they have listened to my cries. They have listened with understanding and sweet encouragement! They have made me feel like a wonderful Mommy who is doing her best for her son. They have formed a huge attachment to David and they will always be a part of our lives even when it is time for them to move on. I am truly grateful for both of them. Precious gifts indeed.
I was actually excited about the fact that we were going to be able to get therapy for David. Although I was excited, I also was so nervous that my gut feelings were right. I really didn’t want to be right. He was observed by a Speech Therapist and an Occupational Therapist as well as the Early Intervention Coordinator. As they observed David and asked us questions about his history and our history I could tell there was more to work on than I had realized. Brian and I had told them that he was just diagnosed with Aspergers and I had a nephew that was on the spectrum as well. Brian has always been very open about having Aspergers which was wonderful. He was happy that we were going to finally be able to help David. After they observed David for a good hour they went over their assessment results.
His Occupational Therapist went over her observations and assessed David as being at 6 months for Atypical Feeding, 11 months Cognitive, 11 months gross motor and 11 months fine motor skills. That actually didn’t surprise me or upset me that much because that is where I thought he was in those areas. I wasn’t thrilled at the 6 month range for eating but it didn’t surprise me at all. But when I heard where his Speech Therapist assessed him to be at I got a lump in my throat. He was assessed at being at 6 months in both receptive and expressive language......almost a full year behind. I knew he was delayed but I didn’t realize how delayed he was emotionally and verbally and my heart just sank. I knew that he wasn’t waiving "bye bye" and he was not mimicking me at all. I think I just entered a temporary denial that his speech was delayed as significantly as it was. Whenever the thought had crossed my mind I would just try to put it in the back of my head. There is one thing thinking it on your own and another thing when someone confirms it and you hear the words out loud. I remember sitting there and trying not to cry. It was pretty tough to hear. To some this may not seem like a big deal but to me it was. I wanted my son to waive hi and bye bye. I wanted my son to participate in interactive songs and games with me. I wanted to see my son clap his hands with me with laughter. I wanted my son to blow kisses. I wanted my son to say "mama". I wanted my son to speak....not just with words but through play and interaction with books and playing with toys. At 14 months old he was not doing anything close to it and my heart just hurt.
I remember coming home that afternoon and reading his IFSP (Individualized Family Service Plan) over and over again and having a bitter sweet feeling. I was so thankful to the Lord for answering my prayer in providing therapy for David. I knew that once we would start he would make great improvement. The plan documented all of therapist findings as well as the plan that we put together for the best therapy treatment specifically to fit David and his needs. It also discussed the goals that were set for David to reach improvements by a certain date. It was very specific with challenging but reachable goals for him.
As I sat there I just began to pray for David that the Lord would touch him and help him with each step of improvement that he would need to make. I prayed that He would give Brian and me wisdom to know what we needed to do to help David and to teach him those things that he needed to learn. I prayed for his therapists and for his therapy that we would be unified together as a team in doing all that is best for David. I am happy to say that the Lord has answered that prayer. David has amazing therapists that I will love forever! They have been such a huge blessing to us and have been so wonderful with him. When I have had my moments of feeling discouraged and frustrated they have listened to my cries. They have listened with understanding and sweet encouragement! They have made me feel like a wonderful Mommy who is doing her best for her son. They have formed a huge attachment to David and they will always be a part of our lives even when it is time for them to move on. I am truly grateful for both of them. Precious gifts indeed.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Let the comforting begin……
Sitting
there watching David eat in front of other kids brought a lump in my throat.
There were many times when I was trying to hold it together in front of people
and then lose it when I was alone. This time was different. We were having
dinner with friends and all their kids were at the table eating. My friend's
daughter who was a month older than David was in her high chair and David was
in his. She was devouring her food and eating finger foods and having a good
time. David was crying and still eating pureed baby food. No texture
whatsoever. No finger foods. No using hands to experiment with foods and only
happy if I was feeding him. I remember sitting there watching the kids eat,
feeling frustrated that my child was struggling and it was all I could do to
hold it in. It was the first time I really saw the difference between David and
other children. It made me sad. I remember thinking as I could tell I was not
going to be able to hold the tears in, "oh great! Now you have to get
upset! You are going to make a huge embarrassment of yourself". I knew
that I was wrong but I felt at the time all alone in this journey. A friend
asked me if I was okay and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just lost it. I was
so embarrassed. I just cried and told her of the struggle and just feeling so
overwhelmed and knowing that there was something wrong. I felt (I stress felt
knowing that it wasn’t fact) like a horrible mom. I sadly started comparing my
abilities to the other moms based on the success of my son. I know that this is
normal for many moms. I believe that even if our child does not have special
needs that we all do that. I am grateful for that friend (she knows who she is
if she is reading this :) ). She just listened. She just let me have a moment
and sometimes that is all anyone needs. Sometimes all someone needs is an ear.
We don’t always have to have the answers.
I am learning through these moments when I speak to other moms that have children with special needs to just listen. I am learning that if I can comfort another mom who is going through something similar it brings me joy. The thought that I am letting another mom know that she is not alone gives me such joy inside. When I am able to say to another mom "yes. This situation really stinks and is painful BUT JESUS. He is walking us through. We just need to keep looking to Jesus. We need to keep crying out to Jesus. He is the only One that will be able to understand every thought, every feeling, and every frustration. He is the only One who can hold us, sustain us, and give us wisdom. No one else can comfort like He can. He is the only One that can show us how to parent our children. His opinion is all that matters. Are we glorifying Him? Are we seeking Him? That is all that matters". 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and GOD of ALL COMFORT, who comforts us in ALL our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in ANY trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." That is what we as Christians are called to do as we walk with each other through our trials. We may not be walking the same journey but we can encourage each other by reminding each other of the truth of His Word. We can remind each other to keep our eyes focused on Him and we can say that we may not understand but we know who does. We can pray for each other. We can pray with each other. When you come speak with another mom who may be walking a difficult journey will you bring the comfort of Jesus? I am sure as you do it will bring you great joy and I know that as you do you will also be comforted in your situation. Let the comforting begin……
I am learning through these moments when I speak to other moms that have children with special needs to just listen. I am learning that if I can comfort another mom who is going through something similar it brings me joy. The thought that I am letting another mom know that she is not alone gives me such joy inside. When I am able to say to another mom "yes. This situation really stinks and is painful BUT JESUS. He is walking us through. We just need to keep looking to Jesus. We need to keep crying out to Jesus. He is the only One that will be able to understand every thought, every feeling, and every frustration. He is the only One who can hold us, sustain us, and give us wisdom. No one else can comfort like He can. He is the only One that can show us how to parent our children. His opinion is all that matters. Are we glorifying Him? Are we seeking Him? That is all that matters". 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and GOD of ALL COMFORT, who comforts us in ALL our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in ANY trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." That is what we as Christians are called to do as we walk with each other through our trials. We may not be walking the same journey but we can encourage each other by reminding each other of the truth of His Word. We can remind each other to keep our eyes focused on Him and we can say that we may not understand but we know who does. We can pray for each other. We can pray with each other. When you come speak with another mom who may be walking a difficult journey will you bring the comfort of Jesus? I am sure as you do it will bring you great joy and I know that as you do you will also be comforted in your situation. Let the comforting begin……
Sunday, March 2, 2014
I Thought It Was So Cute Until......
I thought it was so cute how David just flapped his arms over and over when
he became excited. I thought it was so great that I never really had to worry
that David was going to put something in his mouth because he never did. I
thought it was so great that David never wanted his pacifier or wanted anything
in his mouth except the bottle. That is what I thought until I realized this isn’t
normal. I started seeing new things (or not seeing things) when David was
around five months old. He was not mimicking me at all. He didn’t want to
participate in games and songs. He thought it was so funny and would giggle and
laugh but I could tell he had absolutely no clue that he was supposed to mimic
back. When I would try to show him how to do patty cake or songs with hand
motions he would just get soooo frustrated. He never let me show him how to
clap his hands......he still doesn’t like it to this day.
There have been a few times here and there when David has called me "mama". I cannot say for sure that is exactly what he was trying to say. That was for about a few weeks here and there. He does not speak any words for the most part. If he has they have been "no" or "dada" and sometimes "mama". But mostly it is just the sound "dada" or "dddddddd". He grunts to get attention and throws toys or hits when he gets mad. Thankfully I have been told that the tantrums have not happened yet at his sitters. Time out has helped with the hitting. He is starting to show signs of trying to tell us what he wants. He will bring a book or his ball. If I were to point to something and ask him to bring it to me he doesn’t look at it and will not bring it to me. We have been using sign language and ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) therapy to teach him to communicate. This has been a challenge.
The other area that has been the biggest challenge and what confirmed my fears is his eating issues. When we started feeding David solids he started out ok when we slowly transitioned him with cereal in the morning. Then we moved to fruits and then veggies. He began to gag. When the textures changed he would gag and just cry and cry. At one point as soon as he was in his high chair he would just cry and cry and then all he would do is scream. It was so hard! It was so frustrating. I tried so many things. I thought at first the screaming was due to him being impatient so I would try to have his food ready and would feed him as soon as he got in his high chair. Then he continued to gag. I noticed that sometimes as soon as his food had any type of change the gagging was worse. He would gag and he would flap his hands and stiffen up. There were times that even the sight of food would make him have a fit. He would scream and stiffen up. I was so sad, frustrated, exhausted and started to dread mealtime. I had to brace myself for each meal. That made my heart break and I would just cry. I was at a loss and didn’t know how to help my boy. I wanted to enjoy this time with my son. I wanted him to enjoy it as well. But, unfortunately they were the hardest most unenjoyable times of the day.
I also noticed that David didn’t know how to play with age appropriate toys. He would hold them and look at them but wouldn’t play. For instance, he would take a car and just try to chew on it but wouldn’t play with it. He doesn’t play with blocks. He does not stack things up on top of other things. He just knocks them down. When he is shown how to stack things he gets really mad and has a throw on the ground tantrum. When we try to show that we don’t throw our toys he gets frustrated. We repeat this over and over again. The other day when I was working with him on his blocks he had a tantrum and just threw himself on me and squeezed me and would not let go. It was like he needed me to just calm his sensory overload. He seemed to calm down once he had a few moments to take a break. This is our daily life.
David has always had pretty good eye contact and if you were to see pics of him he is always smiling. He has the best laugh in the world but pics don’t tell the story. When I have shared with people that David was diagnosed with Autism many say, "but he doesn’t look Autistic", "but he is such a happy boy", "he is so smart". The thing about Autism is that there really isn’t a face for it. Also, people who have Autism are some of the most intelligent people in the world. Every person who has Autism is completely different from the other in their degree and in their needs and gifts.....that is why it is called Autism Spectrum Disorder. Each spectrum is different. Even if two people are on the same spectrum both of them are unique. Each person is unique and blessed with unique gifts that the Lord has given each of them. Each one is a blessing to every person that is honored to have them be a part of their life.
There have been a few times here and there when David has called me "mama". I cannot say for sure that is exactly what he was trying to say. That was for about a few weeks here and there. He does not speak any words for the most part. If he has they have been "no" or "dada" and sometimes "mama". But mostly it is just the sound "dada" or "dddddddd". He grunts to get attention and throws toys or hits when he gets mad. Thankfully I have been told that the tantrums have not happened yet at his sitters. Time out has helped with the hitting. He is starting to show signs of trying to tell us what he wants. He will bring a book or his ball. If I were to point to something and ask him to bring it to me he doesn’t look at it and will not bring it to me. We have been using sign language and ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) therapy to teach him to communicate. This has been a challenge.
The other area that has been the biggest challenge and what confirmed my fears is his eating issues. When we started feeding David solids he started out ok when we slowly transitioned him with cereal in the morning. Then we moved to fruits and then veggies. He began to gag. When the textures changed he would gag and just cry and cry. At one point as soon as he was in his high chair he would just cry and cry and then all he would do is scream. It was so hard! It was so frustrating. I tried so many things. I thought at first the screaming was due to him being impatient so I would try to have his food ready and would feed him as soon as he got in his high chair. Then he continued to gag. I noticed that sometimes as soon as his food had any type of change the gagging was worse. He would gag and he would flap his hands and stiffen up. There were times that even the sight of food would make him have a fit. He would scream and stiffen up. I was so sad, frustrated, exhausted and started to dread mealtime. I had to brace myself for each meal. That made my heart break and I would just cry. I was at a loss and didn’t know how to help my boy. I wanted to enjoy this time with my son. I wanted him to enjoy it as well. But, unfortunately they were the hardest most unenjoyable times of the day.
I also noticed that David didn’t know how to play with age appropriate toys. He would hold them and look at them but wouldn’t play. For instance, he would take a car and just try to chew on it but wouldn’t play with it. He doesn’t play with blocks. He does not stack things up on top of other things. He just knocks them down. When he is shown how to stack things he gets really mad and has a throw on the ground tantrum. When we try to show that we don’t throw our toys he gets frustrated. We repeat this over and over again. The other day when I was working with him on his blocks he had a tantrum and just threw himself on me and squeezed me and would not let go. It was like he needed me to just calm his sensory overload. He seemed to calm down once he had a few moments to take a break. This is our daily life.
David has always had pretty good eye contact and if you were to see pics of him he is always smiling. He has the best laugh in the world but pics don’t tell the story. When I have shared with people that David was diagnosed with Autism many say, "but he doesn’t look Autistic", "but he is such a happy boy", "he is so smart". The thing about Autism is that there really isn’t a face for it. Also, people who have Autism are some of the most intelligent people in the world. Every person who has Autism is completely different from the other in their degree and in their needs and gifts.....that is why it is called Autism Spectrum Disorder. Each spectrum is different. Even if two people are on the same spectrum both of them are unique. Each person is unique and blessed with unique gifts that the Lord has given each of them. Each one is a blessing to every person that is honored to have them be a part of their life.
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