Today I was watching an interview with Kody Lee's Mom. He was the winner of America's Got Talent. He was born blind and also has autism yet the Lord has given him an AMAZING gift of communicating through his love for music. He has such great talent! No limits! As I was watching the interview I could not help but cry as I heard this mother's story of what it was like to walk the journey of having a child with special needs.....one who could not see and had autism on top of that. She spoke about the challenge of being in denial that he was blind until the doctors diagnosed him. Then she allowed herself to accept his diagnosis and got him all the services available to him....then he was diagnosed with Autism. That hit her like a ton of bricks! She was like most Moms who face this diagnosis. What does this mean? Will my child be independent? Will my child be able to communicate? Will my child be okay? Will they be stuck in their own world forever? How am I ever going to do this? And the ever difficult question....why would God think that I would be the perfect parent for my child? What do I have to give them? All these questions I have asked. All of them. I don't ask the last question anymore as I now see how the Lord is using this journey to stretch me and to minister to other Moms who are walking it. I now see through my son's eyes when he has a victory. When he struggles he comes to me. He looks for me. He knows I am there. He knows I point him to Jesus as we pray together to help him be able to be brave through those challenges. I see my highest calling in my son each day.
However, there are times....and they have been more frequent lately....when I ask myself if I have done enough? Have I held David back in those times of exhaustion when it has been just too hard? Have I held him back from success when I have not pushed him in moments when I should have? As I was listening to this sweet Mom speak about how she just makes her son do everything and pushes him more and more I was fighting back the lie that says "I have failed". "It is too late." "I am not that strong" "It's too hard!" Parents who have children with special needs are the only ones who would know for sure those struggles. I have a feeling that if I were to sit down with this sweet lady and share all that I am sharing with you she would tell me that these are lies that are directly from the enemy!!! I know that. I just battle the part that goes to my heart as I watch my son....as I see the differences in my son in comparison to other children his age. That is when I have to choose to give those thoughts to the Lord and keep my mind focused on His truth and what His Word says! He is my strength! I CAN do all things through HIS strength! It is NEVER too late!! I have NOT failed!!! The Lord has a HUGE plan for David! He will perfect it!
Having a child who has autism feels like a roller coaster at times in so many ways. Each roller coaster is different for each parent and family because each child's journey and needs are different. There have been so many highs and this is an exciting time for me and David. This is an exciting time because I am finally able to get out of my fear and push David farther than he desires. I have been able to see him have victory over so many foods he has tried.....about 7 actually!!!! What a miracle I thought would NEVER happen!!! At the same time this is an emotional time too. Watching this interview brought out the emotions of what this journey has been like. But at the same time I felt such motivation as well to keep going. To keep fighting the fear. To keep persevering. To keep pushing. To keep cheering him on!!! To keep working as a team and to keep pointing David to Jesus and teaching him the Jesus gives him the ability to be brave when he is afraid. To keep praising the Lord for each victory as well as the knowledge of His faithfulness to walk us through each challenge. He is, has been and will continue to be faithful to this Mom who leans on Jesus each day to give all that she needs as she parents her son for His glory!
Friday, October 25, 2019
Sunday, October 13, 2019
Coin Contract Bravery
This was a fantastic first week of helping David learn to be able to eat more foods. There were lots of ups and a few downs but I am soooo very grateful for the triumphs. This gave me such HOPE!!!! My boy will be able to conquer some of his eating issues and fears. David has been in some type of therapy for eating since he was 16 months old. Now 7 years later we are still in the battle but for the first time in seven years I feel like I can breath. I can let go of the fear that David will not eat more foods. For the last 7 years he has eaten only 1 vegetable.... green beans. His diet for the last 4 years has been green beans, scalloped potatoes, a specific chicken noodle, spaghetti with no meat, yogurt, apple sauce, gold fish and animal crackers, peanut butter sandwhich (that actually was his first sandwich that we JUST got him to eat this last summer). He did not eat any of his birthday cakes until his 6th birthday and now the big thing he loves is chocolate cake and ice cream. :) We have tried several different techniques in the last year or two that have not been extremely successful. However, we have finally found something that is motivating him and helping him be brave.
David has been in ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) Therapy for the last 2 years. He has been able to conquer so many things in the last 2 years. Now, we are working on conquering the sensory food mountain! I believe we will conquer it! David and I talk a lot about being brave. He loves to talk about being brave and he loves being brave. I always tell him though that yes. He is brave. But it is Jesus who helps him be brave. So we pray each morning and thank Jesus for helping him be brave to try new things. So now whenever we talk about eating he usually says, "are we going to practice being brave with food today Mom". I love it! I have a sign in our kitchen that I made for him that says I AM BRAVE!
I would like to share with you what we are doing with David to help him. We are using a kind of token economy system. Each token represents a bit or even bites of food depending on degree of difficulty. At the beginning of the week we sit down with David and set up his goals for the week WITH him. We let him decide what reward he would like to work towards. We then tell him how many tokens he needs to earn in order to get each reward. At the end of the week he can trade his tokens in to us for the prize listed on what we call The Coin Contract. He has to sign the contract as well.
Once we establish what the rewards will be and he has signed the contract we then can start. The goal is to get him to taste and eat it. Then we decide the size of the bite he has to eat. Then we decide how many tokens he gets for each bite based on difficulty. At the beginning of the meal we write out on a sheet the food he is going to try, the amount of bites he has to eat and how many coins he gets for that bite. It also has circles of different sizes that represent the sizes of the bites that he would need to eat. Each meal can be different. Each food can be different. This can also encourage the child to eat bigger bites if the food is tolerable the first time. That gives room to increase the amount of tokens to give them. Then at the bottom of the page we say how many bites were eaten and how many tokens were earned as well as any comments on behavior, reaction to food etc. It has made it so much less stressful for me as well. It makes it so much more fun even with the challenge of those foods that have not been tolerable. This week he has tried and eaten hot dogs (HIS VERY FIRST MEAT HE HAS EVER EATEN), a few different types of chicken, apples, jelly candy and hotdog bun. The hotdog bun and one type of chicken made him gag but the others accepted pretty well. This week we will be working on increasing the amount of bites and increasing the token challenge.
So this week we continue the journey! I know it will not always be as easy as this week but I am thankful to the Lord that He has given us this tool to help us and has given me courage to keep going and know that no matter what we can push through one bite at a time. Thank you Jesus for this gift! :)
David has been in ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) Therapy for the last 2 years. He has been able to conquer so many things in the last 2 years. Now, we are working on conquering the sensory food mountain! I believe we will conquer it! David and I talk a lot about being brave. He loves to talk about being brave and he loves being brave. I always tell him though that yes. He is brave. But it is Jesus who helps him be brave. So we pray each morning and thank Jesus for helping him be brave to try new things. So now whenever we talk about eating he usually says, "are we going to practice being brave with food today Mom". I love it! I have a sign in our kitchen that I made for him that says I AM BRAVE!
I would like to share with you what we are doing with David to help him. We are using a kind of token economy system. Each token represents a bit or even bites of food depending on degree of difficulty. At the beginning of the week we sit down with David and set up his goals for the week WITH him. We let him decide what reward he would like to work towards. We then tell him how many tokens he needs to earn in order to get each reward. At the end of the week he can trade his tokens in to us for the prize listed on what we call The Coin Contract. He has to sign the contract as well.
Once we establish what the rewards will be and he has signed the contract we then can start. The goal is to get him to taste and eat it. Then we decide the size of the bite he has to eat. Then we decide how many tokens he gets for each bite based on difficulty. At the beginning of the meal we write out on a sheet the food he is going to try, the amount of bites he has to eat and how many coins he gets for that bite. It also has circles of different sizes that represent the sizes of the bites that he would need to eat. Each meal can be different. Each food can be different. This can also encourage the child to eat bigger bites if the food is tolerable the first time. That gives room to increase the amount of tokens to give them. Then at the bottom of the page we say how many bites were eaten and how many tokens were earned as well as any comments on behavior, reaction to food etc. It has made it so much less stressful for me as well. It makes it so much more fun even with the challenge of those foods that have not been tolerable. This week he has tried and eaten hot dogs (HIS VERY FIRST MEAT HE HAS EVER EATEN), a few different types of chicken, apples, jelly candy and hotdog bun. The hotdog bun and one type of chicken made him gag but the others accepted pretty well. This week we will be working on increasing the amount of bites and increasing the token challenge.
So this week we continue the journey! I know it will not always be as easy as this week but I am thankful to the Lord that He has given us this tool to help us and has given me courage to keep going and know that no matter what we can push through one bite at a time. Thank you Jesus for this gift! :)
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
Bring on the Food, Bring on the Praise
Alright people! I need your prayers! I am having anxiety just typing this. Our son has autism and has had severe eating issues since infancy. It has been an exhausting journey. He was in about 3 years of feesing therapy and exhaustion hit a climax. For the past year I have not had the energy to attack this. I have not wanted to. It has seemed too much emotionally and physically. But even though I really dont want to face and fight through the battle it is time to attack and help our son with his food issues again. He cannot stay with the same foods for the rest of his life. I need prayer for courage to keep going, for strength and stamina, for David to be able to handle more foods, for wisdom as his ABA therapist and I try to be creative in making this as positive as possible for David and I. I HAVE to get over the fear and just do it!!! Please pray for me as I fight for our son. Pray for the Holy Spirit to move in all areas and that the Lord would be glorified as we give HIM praise for each "small" victory which we all know are really HUGE!!! Thank you soooo much!!!! I will be writing a lot more frequently to journal out this journey. Im looking forward to sharing it all with you. The good and bad! May He be glorified!
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